just a quick post.

pangsehed all the way this weekend. sigh.

failed my ippt today. shag la mai gong liao.

gonna go and chill at ching's a little bit before meeting marie tonight. and i have no idea where to go at night. go home and rest? sounds pretty good.

rejected

so today was like , yeah.
went to watch shadow nights with marie , had lunch , chilled at NNB for a bit.
went home, changed, rushed out to meet sheila cause i cant send her off next week
met marie again , had dinner, drank a little and movie (again) before sending her home

in the noon she told me "dont like me. like like like me. promise me"
yeah im an idiot
was really damn sian and chained smoked otw home
after chilled outside her place for a little bit.
was already thinking of pouring my heart out to her but i thought it was a little too early
and then she asked me why i liked her

then everything went down.
so yeah basically i got rejected. idk.
fuck i am an idiot
bahhhhhhhh

falling

so last saturday i met this girl
its so fucking amazing i dont think i've ever felt this way before
it's either i dont remember or i've never felt this before
tried really hard to keep my distance but at the end of the day im just falling harder for her

i know i know its weird the odds are against me but im just so damn crazy
idk what im trying to do here sigh.
bing and bon both says its not meant to be. cause theres just so much differences between us

and i dont want another dorothy again. im sick of changing myself. i dont want bing to have to say "welcome home" again

dammit.

why

i dont understand why im feeling like that.
i just feel so sad and depressed now
maybe im jealous. jealous of everyone around you
you're willing, more than willing to put effort when it comes to them but never once gave me anything
maybe you've through losing me you woke up?
i have no idea what the hell im doing

it's may already. gonna be 4 months soon.
maybe these wild skirt chasing and desperate need to find a girl is just an escape?
maybe im just not over you and probably wont so soon

i dont think i deserve this.i really dont think so.
why is this happening despite my constant prepping of my own mind?

this is what i get after defending you , trying so hard to convince my friends that we belonged together
i feel kinda dumb now
really do

so how

got posted from pasir ris to neesoon. life is good.

thats it for NS

feeling really super fucked up today/tonight. i have no idea why. my life just plain sucks i guess

just shut up and focus on being a soldier sounds nice. but ya la sian i dk la

wtf am i even doing blogging

Snap back to reality

just saw my last post, really been a long time once again.

so much has changed since then ah, really really too much.

first up, probably the most significant thing to me should be my break up i guess. yeah im single now. realised that we're not made for each other i guess.

so yeah, that's that.

being single is supposed to be great right? sometimes i felt like being single but ya la you know la fucking NS la. cb.

so big big big big or rather FUCKING BLOODY HUGE CHANGE in my life la. fucking enlistment mother waste time i swear

except for the part where i become fitter la but really lang fei shi jian leh

not gonna go into details. just really learnt alot, appreciating all the small things.

kinda funny that im only posting about enlistment when my POP was yesterday haha

really weird not seeing bing everyday anymore and really little time to hang out with the bros and stuff.

time spent with my friends are reduced significantly these days. used to spend a whole day or more with whoever im meeting but now one day must split into like 3 time slots. sigh.

pretty cool thing bout enlistment is it really shows who cares i guess

some people give a fuck so dont you know. like fucked up la. really pekchek with some but at the same time theres people like ahpuinette that make an effort to see me almost every week

noticed my social circle is only getting wider like really really weird and the people im hanging out with is like really.... different?

like daph ,the guys and kaiyin

the people that i got to know them through dont really meet me together with them ah. idk how to say. but not a bad thing i guess.

moving on, just read el's old blog posts and went back to the plans i had for the future

really, just teared when i read it la

i really dont know what the fuck im doing with my life anymore. no plans nothing.

and i really miss the good old days like seriously.

i miss seeing hi-5 so fucking often

i miss el

not say i dont miss everyone else la but shes the only one i havent seen since i enlisted la.

but really i dk what to say about that

i miss being free

i miss civilian life

i miss sleeping at 5 and waking up at 4

i miss 12 hours of sleep

i miss being a fucking sloth

i miss having something to do

i miss having too many people to meet

i miss all my lost friends

i have so much to say i cant put in words

i dont know why.

oh yeah A levels sucked for me.

my luck ran out. sigh. really dont know what to do from here on

i think im going to pull all my hair out and die

but then again i dont have anymore hair to pull ahahaha

life sucks.

plus my laptop's mouse is in the living room cb sian

when i say i blog i should really blog

havent posted in awhile . again.. hehe havent done a recap on 2011 so yeah i shall do that

2011 was a bloody horrible year i guess

eh wait happy 16 months baby <3

ok continuing onnnnnnnnnnn

2011 started off pretty ok? awesome party at del mar and shit. was da bomb.

CNY was spent well with the idiots from 6B

then came school

08/10 (wow i almost forgot my class) was pretty awesome through the years? until the whole East side West side thing pretty much pissed some people off. including me.

start of the year was pretty good. Orientation which was the best 3 days of my life in AJ and 03/11 my OG group

family day was pretty damn fun

found myself always colliding with the student council ideology because, lets face it , they suck to the max.

the way they see things do things are all inefficient yadah yadah and they get recognised. bleh whatever im done with AJ anyway. MOVING ON.

the rest of the year was mainly spent studying (ahem) for A levels and i really regretted taking this path.

im not quite sure if its my lack of giving a fuck to studies or im just plain stupid. either way i screwed up my As and yeah i guess i've resigned to my fate of pherhaps having to go to Poly after serving NS

oh yay NS lets talk about NS and physical fitness

i'd say i've workED, past tense please , really hard to get fit and i think i did OK for my NAPFA considering my background and intense hatred toward working out

Went on a diet and i feel like i've really slimmed down during napfa period. which i was really proud of myself for.

(i just got info that down syndrome is caused by god hahaha)

yeah and i got through commando interview but theres gonna be some people i dont like being there. oh well deal with it.

A levels came shortly and i binged cause idk was i stressed? or did i just find a conveninent excuse to eat like mad. so yeah i got fat again. damn i hate myself

i think that pretty much summed up the significant part of the year?

oh and towards the end i went t0 work at TBC with zhongyin and some of them were really nice. SOME.

ended the year off at avalon with HI-5 and GF no.2 lynette 's friends. ah good times.

i swear i thought that my tolerance towards christianity in total was like really high but seems like its back down again hahaha damn JC made me good

while it lasted heh

ok time to pack my room k bai